A Big Announcement on our "10th Anniversary"

Friends, family, sweet sweet couples -

This past spring we arrived at a big decision about the future of Grain & Compass, and we’re finally ready to share the news with all of you. We are here to share that this year, our tenth year of photographing weddings, is the last one for Grain & Compass. This decision has been a long time coming, but honestly, I’ve just been wanting and waiting for a lightning strike sign telling me it was time to close the doors. Instead, the Lord has been gently releasing my grasp on our business, one finger at a time. And I’m finally finally ready to release it.

We’ve scaled back our commitments the last couple years as we’ve grown our family. This was important to us to ensure we could continue to fully invest in each of our couples, diving into their stories, capturing each day to the best of our abilities, and encouraging each couple in their relationship with one another. To us that looked like taking on less weddings and returning our focus to providing photography alone rather than both photo and video.

The decisions we’ve made to scale back have each felt right in their season. It was time to give up video. It was time to book less weddings per year. When our daughter was born, we knew it was right to give ourselves a wide margin of time before diving back into shooting weddings and before traveling again. We had to say no to a lot of weddings because we made the decision in advance to not shoot for 6 months and to not travel too far from home for a year after her birth. Those decisions were right in their time. And the margin we gave ourselves has truly helped us to step back and discern what our next right step is.

Now, I will say that this decision has come with a lot of tears, and a whole huge range of emotions from sadness at letting go of something we’ve built, to excitement about what could be next, to peace and utter relief that we’ve finally moved forward with a decision. Honestly, I mostly feel relief and peace. I’ve been clinging to this decision for so long. I’ve known (or I’ve thought I’ve known) that this is where we would end up eventually, but I didn’t want our business to slowly fade into oblivion. I wanted it to be clear. I wanted to be able to say THIS is why we’re stepping back. 

I’ve been fighting this idea that we’re “going out of business,” like we’ve failed at what we’re doing, when really that’s not what’s happening. We’re not being forced into this. We, truthfully, could keep going. Instead we are choosing this next step of closing our business for many reasons. Mostly we are choosing it for the sake of our family. Our photographer friend Rachel Hennessy recently posted that she’s also closing her business for the time being, and she wrote about her family, “These people are my world. I want them to get the best of me, not the leftovers.” That simple line struck such a chord with me. YES. That is our decision in a nutshell as well.

I’ve been learning that I naturally help other people embrace their own story more fully through our work, but I’ve found it’s often to the detriment of embracing my own story and being fully present with my own family. This is an unhealthy sense of work/life balance that I’m sure a lot of people could figure out. I’m learning that, for now, I’m not supposed to “figure it out.” I’m supposed to lay one down for the sake of the other - in this case it’s laying down our business for the sake of our family.

As I’ve thought and prayed and cried and wrestled with this decision (for the past two and a half years if I’m honest) I came across Emily P Freeman’s podcast The Next Right Thing, and YOU GUYS. It has been the breath of fresh air and the clarity and helpful words that I’ve needed at what has truthfully felt like one of the biggest decisions I’ve had to make. There are honestly so many quotes from her podcast that I would love to include here, but I’ll just give you a couple. 

This one is from Episode 56 which I listened to just before we reached this decision in May.

“Maybe you have a dream in your heart too. Right now that dream might seem impossible, far off, or just plain crazy. It might be small or huge or some middle mix of both, but there is some piece within you that you just can’t let go. That little spark of hopeful potential you’re aware of right now - continue to circle around that tiny spark and consider the fact that maybe it isn’t random or selfish or crazy after all.

Maybe it’s a whisper from the Spirit of God trying to get your attention. Maybe it’s a hint to your design, wanting to wake you up from the inside out, begging you to stop taunting it with names. Maybe that little spark of an idea is there for a reason. Not necessarily because every dream you have will come true, but because recognizing your own desire could be a way of respecting the way God designed you and could even be a hint at how you were made to worship him, to bring him glory, to show up as yourself in the world. Maybe that spark is there, not just for you but for other people too, but you can’t possibly know who, or where, or how, or when.

Pay attention. Focus on the next right thing in front of you. And don’t get too attached to outcomes.”

And this one from Episode 60.

“When it’s time to move, MOVE. Don’t wait for permission. Quiet the critic. Celebrate your baby steps and be okay with what you don’t yet know. Trust it will come in time. Here are those words from C.S. Lewis again, “Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment as to the Lord.””

I also want to mention another huge source of encouragement as we reached this decision a few months ago. I’ve been following Nancy Ray’s work for quite a few years and have so much respect and admiration for how she runs her business and leads her team. In the spring she announced that she is closing her business to focus more on her three little ones, and it came as a surprise (because of how successful her business is) and also it was an enormous inspiration to me. She has since launched a podcast and I’ve been clinging to her words and encouragement as we are walking what feels like a bit of a parallel journey.

In Episode 5 she talks about the distinction between a calling and an assignment and it was so very helpful for me. If you have time, go check it out. If not, here are a few snippets to give you the idea.

“I realized recently that there is a big difference in my calling and my assignment - that my calling actually never changes but my assignments change season to season...We are called to Jesus, to follow him, to walk with him, to live a life of obedience to him, a life of ministry and healing to others. Our calling in every sense is simply to Him...

Our assignments are directly related to our work and our roles in our season of life. God gives us different assignments in different seasons and it’s up to us to be in tune with Him and know if we’re walking in the assignment he has for us...The important thing is to simply walk with God, listen to Him, and walk in obedience to his plan for you, whatever that may look like.”

I don’t have a tangible “next next right step,” however much I long to. I’m not starting a new business, writing a book, pursuing a hand lettering or birth photography career, creating an editorial calendar for my food blog, or anything else, however much each of those things sounds like something I would love to do, and even something I might do eventually. Right now I’m simply taking the next step. And I’ll take the next one after that when the time comes.

In the meantime, we are finishing this year strong. We are coming up to our final wedding in November and are so looking forward to capturing it (and seeing THREE of our former couples at it as well!) We’ve heard a few people describe their final year in business as a “victory lap” and we resonate with that. We certainly have seen this year as a celebration of all that has come before it and an opportunity to finish well with joy and gratitude.

A few practical things before closing: While we are not booking any additional weddings or sessions, we will continue to offer design services for our couples still wishing to order wedding albums. Many of our couples (or their parents) order albums for one of their anniversaries, and we absolutely love getting these into your hands. If you’d like to order a wedding album, don’t hesitate to reach out! We’d love to walk with you through that process.

We are so very grateful for these past ten years of photographing weddings. It feels like such a milestone to have reached what we are calling our “tenth anniversary” of being in business. Today is Zach and Janlee’s 10th wedding anniversary and they were the very first ones to entrust me (and our dear friend and photographer of our wedding, Adam Pratt) with capturing their wedding day. (Happy Anniversary Zach and Janlee! Forever and ever so grateful for you and this adventure you kicked off.) 

We are immensely thankful to each and every couple who has trusted us with their story over the past ten years. It has been an incredible privilege to capture moments that we know will be cherished and shared with children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews, for many years to come.

We’ve captured not only photos that are printed and stuck to the fridge and ones that are bound into wedding albums, but also ones that have been shared at both baby showers and at funerals - a celebration of new lives and of lives well-lived. What an honor. Thank you for journeying with us these past ten years. We look forward to seeing where the next ten take us.